Family, Ancestors & Lineage
Chinese New Year celebrations feature dragon and lion dances.
Credit: Saigoneer/Shutterstock
One of the biggest moments of paying respects to your parents in Chinese culture, is the moment when you get on your knees to serve them tea in the moment of marriage, of union, to thank them for raising you and all they have given to you to up until this moment to move on to form your own family.
This past week the worlds largest ethnic group focuses on family. This week started with the Chinese Reunion dinner, on the eve of the hugely celebrated Chinese New Year, where families get together to have dinner in the most important meal of the year. Many cultures have something similar, a day where we put family before everything else, we travel distances, set aside differences, overcome past issues and let go of current day situations in exchange for traditions. Because regardless of where you are from in the world or what culture to which you belong, recognising your family, your ancestors, your lineage is what means to be human and to keep us humble. Reunion get-togethers, Thanksgiving meals, Christmas dinners, Eid al-Fitr breakfasts or Diwali sweet sharing, are all ways to remind ourselves we are able to put family before our opinions, problems and every other current state of affairs in our lives. To put family first is a choice, albeit on most days is a pretty hard and challenging choice.
Until recently I finally understood what it meant when I hear people say “Your family is your yoga practice” or joke that “Your relationships are a true test of how far along you think you are spiritually”. I used to think it meant they required us to gather all our strength to put on the biggest display of patience and acceptance to deal with family disputes or struggles associated with having life partners. I have come to realise that I was wrong, your family and your relationships are not a test of your yoga practice, they ARE yoga, and not a place to expend all the gains from spiritual work. They are where you learn about yourself, they are the mirror to the framework of your soul. Regardless if everything you do in life is a direct influence of your family, or every decision you make is to strive to be what they are not, either way they are the foundation of your beliefs, morals and values. Yoga is commonly translated as ‘union’, and that is exactly what recognising family is, the place where you observe yourself and merge into your creation. The emotional power of being thankful and in union with those that came before you is almost overwhelming. I guess it is also why psychologists bring patients back to solving issues with family or childhood as a requirement for moving forward, as it is hard to find meaning in life without making peace with the past. This practice of familial gratitude fills your heart in a way that makes every action you take today overflow with a value that you would never want to waste another breath again.
The celebration and traditions of Chinese New Year can be traced back to 3500 years ago, families had made sure to carry on practices for their children that their parents shown them, practices that had so much meaning for those children they too repeated them for their kids. It is a beautiful phenomenon to have tradition passed down through generations. The teachings and traditions of yoga can be traced back 5000 years. The realisation of the massive efforts put into the preservation of traditions and knowledge we posses allows us to fully grasp that our life is truly a gift.
Privately teaching an interested student upon request the mantras associated with Ashtanga Yoga as part of a gratitude practice before and after our asana on the mat. The mantras start with thanking all the teachers that have dedicated their lives to preserving tradition & knowledge so that we can be learning the practice and ends with devoting our yoga practice for the benefit of others. A reminder that we own nothing..
In a world where much focus is on future development, where we are going and how to get there faster, the practice to pay respect to past traditions and tribute ancestors whom came before you is not only a human privilege but one shared across all cultures and helps bring back balance and perspective in our lives. Unfortunately it’s also a practice being diluted in modern day life. To recognise that everything you do is because of another's path before yours is the first step in humility. In Malaysian culture it is drilled into us the moment we can speak to respect elders by immediately greeting them with their relation title such as “aunty or uncle” should we be in their presence. In the Chinese culture we verbally invite our parents and elders on the table to eat before us, as we are only able to eat as a result of them. One of the oldest customs in China is paying homage to our ancestors on specified days in the calendar year. In traditional yoga practice we start our practice with a Sanskrit mantra to thank all the teachers, both past and directly infront of us, whom dedicated their lives so that we have the opportunity to be learning ancient practices. All these practices of appreciation are independent of religion, these traditions are in place for us to have remembrance for the purpose of honouring actions of others taken for our benefit that may not be directly visible to us.
Cultural inheritance is the storage and transmission of information by communication, imitation, teaching and learning. It's transmitted by the brain rather than by genes. Family values set tone for how to embed moral standards and discipline as a basis to find purpose in our time here. It is mind blowing that in one of the worlds oldest languages, Sanskrit, the word ‘parampara’ existed, a term meaning direct, experiential knowledge passed in succession from teacher to student. It is a practice as old as, well … as we humans could talk. Therefore it makes sense that in order to be true to our nature, we must have some regular salutation for tradition and appreciation for those that upheld them in order for us to know their existence. After all much of our current knowledge, abilities and capabilities are a direct result of family, ancestors or some form of dedication of others in the past.
Gratitude for existence is the most humble reminder for us to stay on track in this life, especially so if you are on a spiritual path. Once we lose our ability to be thankful, we lose to our ego, we fall back into selfish existence. Be thankful to your ancestors, your family, your relationships and all the teachings from the past that make part of who you are today, and watch the value of everything you do now skyrocket.
Giving respect to those that tread the path before you to share tradition and knowledge is a practice that transcends all cultures, it’s a practice of humanity.